Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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