Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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