Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
