im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
