I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
