Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize