I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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