thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
