Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize