Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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