One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
