oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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