When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize