Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
