if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
