No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
