Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
