How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
