Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
