But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize