He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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