What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
