Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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