peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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