R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
