As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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