Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
