They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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