No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
