im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
whose ass print is on the piano?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize