There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
