normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize