As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize