Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
