The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
