I got chris browned last night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fuck appropriateness.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
