I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
