Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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