I'm gonna have a badass scar
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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