She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
