I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
