How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
