So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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