I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
