My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
