did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
