They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize