She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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