before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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