i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
