oh god the rape fog is back!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
