porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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