She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
