Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is Oprah even human
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
