Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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