I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
