i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
